Recovery is possible
My addiction blog
You are not alone. A lot of people struggle with addiction. I have struggled with it for 15 years now and am here to share my story of fear, shame and resilience. It’s never too late to change your life.
4 min read
Chapter 1: This is me..
As I begin this journey through my past, I am 34 years old. While it has not been easy going back in time, I know my story can mean something to someone. Maybe make someone feel like they’re not alone like we can change our lives and be happy. My entire life I have struggled with self-esteem issues, and mental health disorders, and when I was around 15 years old, I discovered my addictive tendencies. Staying positive and motivated to move forward has always been challenging for me and I often find myself wishing things were different. Addiction, by far, has been the worst condition and has led me down many roads. I have seen the side of the concerned spouse’s point of view as well as being in full-blown active addiction. I have switched from drug to drug, alcohol, and even shopping to fill the void. My journey through addiction has no end and it never disappears. It is always with me. There is no cure, only ways to manage and cope. I am now able to identify triggers that tempt me to use such as people, places, and things. I have learned how to deal with stress in healthier ways, such as through deep breathing. Now, things are different for me. I am blessed to say I made it out alive. Many don’t get to say that and their existence is short. I know I am not perfect, I don’t pretend or try to be. I do try to be kind, and humble and remember where I came from. I no longer dwell on the past. I used to and I was miserable. Now, I think about the future and want to experience things I should have a long time ago. By the grace of God, I was able to get my bachelor’s degree through all of the chaos. Next, is my master’s. I want to be successful and live comfortably. I want to get out more and participate in life. Life is short and tomorrow is never promised. How we decide to spend our time is up to us and I want to make mine meaningful.
4 min read
4 min read
There is no way to describe it. There’s nothing I’ve seen to compare it to. Most won’t understand how something can take over and consume your entire life in the blink of an eye. they won’t understand that we will do anything to stay addicted and hurt whoever we need to along the way. How could they? Those who aren’t addicted will never know the struggles, and I am thankful for those who never will. No one can understand how our minds can be taken hostage and our decisions become not our own. We do things that we would never do when we were sober and put ourselves in situations without thought. We will burn the ones we love the most and do it again. Guilt and shame might follow but the urge is too strong to care. Addiction will never define me. I am determined to succeed.